"so, uh…….. you single"
'no homo' god says as he puts the male g-spot up their anus
if I ever fall into a coma someone please come secretly tweeze my eyebrows so I can make all the nurses hella jealous of my unconscious eyebrow game.
some kid in my class wrote an essay about how it never explicitly says Beowulf isn’t a robot
medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later